


All Downhill From Here

by goblinqween



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, The usual Strawhat antics, arguing as a love language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:08:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27516610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinqween/pseuds/goblinqween
Summary: Zoro had a problem—specifically a problem in the form of a glasses wearing, raven haired woman who was obsessed with swords. He had come to the unsettling realization that he liked her. A lot.This wasn’t a sudden awareness either, he couldn’t even say when it had started. Somehow all their arguments had turned into something else for him over the last couple of years. If you would have asked Zoro what he thought about Tashigi at their initial meeting, it would be that she was annoying and self-righteous. And he knew for a fact what Tashigi would say about him: “Roronoa! You are the most irritating, obstinate, and disrespectful man I have ever met in my entire life!”. So where does one go from there?Zoro's friends want to help him out but like all plans with the Strawhats, they tend to go downhill quite fast...
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Tashigi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 28





	1. Operation: Idiots in Love Commences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro realizes some things, Nami finds out, and all the Strawhats decide to get involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the first fanfic I have ever written. There is such an unacceptably low amount of ZoTash fics that y'all forced me to write one and contribute to the community instead of doing my usual lurking. I saw that it was Zoro's birthday today (11/11) and it gave me the final push to publish this. I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Zoro had a problem—specifically a problem in the form of a glasses wearing, raven haired woman who was obsessed with swords. He had come to the unsettling realization that he liked her. _A lot_.

This wasn’t a sudden awareness either, he couldn’t even say when it had started. Somehow all their arguments had turned into something else for him over the last couple of years. If you would have asked Zoro what he thought about Tashigi at their initial meeting, it would be that she was annoying and self-righteous. And he knew for a fact what Tashigi would say about him: “ _Roronoa!_ _You are_ _the most irritating, obstinate, and disrespectful man I have ever met in my entire life!_ ”. Their rivalry was quite well known around the dojo.

But their relationship shifted when their professional lives collided at Punk Hazard. Tashigi was doing an investigative journal piece on missing kids, and instead of doing the sensible thing she broke into the Punk Hazard facility when the shit really hit the fan there. Zoro’s firefighter team was called in after a huge explosion at the secret facility. As he was making his way through the burning building, who does he find? Tashigi, of course. He ended up throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her out of the building (and she had the gall to protest after she woke up, like she wasn’t just passed out on the floor with an injured shoulder as well).

It struck him afterwards that she could have died. Who would he spar with both physically and verbally if she was gone? He realized he looked forward to Saturdays when they would cross swords at the dojo. He enjoyed teasing her and pissing her off when he would show off his moves. Other than his friends, most people annoyed Zoro but he always enjoyed seeing Tashigi. That’s when it hit him— _I like her_.

The problem was, Zoro’s form of flirting was to make fun of Tashigi. It went over as well as one can expect. The other issue was that the few times he did manage a compliment, Tashigi thought he was being sarcastic and would storm off despite him trying to assure her he was being serious that time.

It was all downhill the moment his friends found out. It was a typical Tuesday; the group had a standing lunch date at a Thai place around the corner from Nami’s work. Now, Nami was already getting suspicious but Zoro would nonchalantly say he walks past her work anyway so he might as well stop in and they can go over together.

_“Zoro, your work is in the opposite direction, this office is literally out of your way,” Nami raised an eyebrow at him._

_“Not the way I come.” Zoro shrugged. That was believable enough since his friends liked to joke that he always got hopelessly lost (which wasn’t true if you asked him, he always ended up where he needed to be. Eventually.)._

_“Hmm.” Was all Nami said as she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes._

Of course, the reason Zoro wanted to stop in was to see Tashigi but Nami didn’t need to know that. Just seeing her for a short time on the weekends at the dojo just wasn’t enough for him so when he found out she worked with Nami at the local news station, it allowed him the excuse to show up there via meeting Nami.

As Zoro stepped into the lobby he was already looking past the front desk which sat in front of a wall of windows displaying the bustling news station’s offices.

“Oh hello, Zoro! Are you here to see Nami, she is in-” The receptionist started, her eyes lighting up upon seeing Zoro.

“Yeah, yeah thanks.” Zoro waved as he breezed past the girl without a glance. He had already set his eye on Tashigi through the windows, she was usually easy to spot with her colorful floral tops. Today she had on a red top with white flowers that perfectly matched her glasses which were resting on top of her head at the moment.

Unconsciously Zoro grinned, Tashigi hadn’t noticed him as she was turned away. He loved to sneak up on her, mostly because it pissed her off. She always got red and stammered before launching into a tirade about how annoying and rude he was.

But as Zoro approached, he noticed she was talking to a man. It was an animated conversation and they were laughing. With a big smile on his face, the man rested a hand on Tashigi’s shoulder. 

A scowl settled on Zoro’s face. _Who the fuck is this prick?_

“Zoro? What are you looking at?” Suddenly Nami appeared next to him.

Zoro quickly averted his gaze from Tashigi and the man, “Nothing, just waiting for you.”

“Ok, just let put these files on my desk and we can go meet the group. Lucky for you, Sanji is going to be a little late today…” Nami continued on but Zoro couldn’t focus on anything but the man’s hand on Tashigi.

And it was still there! Zoro silently seethed as his gaze settled back on them. As if Tashigi could feel the dark energy emanating from him, she turned, and their eyes met. Tashigi’s eyes widened and Zoro tried to school his expression into a blank look, merely meeting her gaze with a raised eyebrow. But the moment felt charged, and for a second it was only him and Tashigi.

Their observation of each other was broken as the man leaned in and said something to Tashigi as his hand slid from her shoulder and down her arm before he pulled it back. Strangely enough, Tashigi started to blush as she moved her gaze from Zoro back to the man. _That must have been because of the man’s wandering hand, not just from looking at me, right?_

“Well, wasn’t that something.” Nami smirked as she rejoined Zoro.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m a meteorologist, Zoro. I know electricity when I see it and that moment between you two was like a bolt of lightning.”

“Let’s go, I’m starving.” Zoro rolled his eye, turning to the exit.

“I knew there something going on.” Nami followed him and latched onto his arm pulling him down, “That was an electric, longing gaze between two souls!”

“The shitty cook is rubbing off on you. Saying crap like that.” Zoro yanked his arm back and sped up through the lobby trying to put as much distance as possible between him and the office.

“Please, I read romance novels like any other woman. Obviously, they aren’t based in reality—because men are trash—but I have to admit that came close to one of those singular, shared moments where they are the only two people in the world for moment. I could feel the tension, unresolved sexual tension perhaps…?” Nami was hot on his heels.

“You’re delusional.” Zoro sneered. The receptionist might have said something, but he was already out the front door and down the street before he registered anything.

“We are not done talking about this.” Nami called as she stepped out the door and wrapped her scarf around her neck, “Also, you’re going the wrong way, idiot.”

.

.

.

“Zoro has a crush on Tashigi.” Nami stated loudly as the group sat down to lunch.

Zoro should have known that Nami wasn’t going to let it go, but he had hoped he could at least get through his lunch without her bluntly announcing it to the whole goddamn restaurant.

“Oh my.” Giggled Robin.

“Zoro’s in love?” Chopper exclaimed.

“Really? That’s SUPER!” Franky gave him a thumbs up.

“Zoro, you like Tashi? She’s nice! She should join our group. Oh, and Smokey too!” Luffy gave him a big smile while he somehow still managed to shove food in his mouth.

“Zoro and Tashigi sitting in a tree…” Ussop started to sing.

“Ussop are you a fucking ten-year-old?” Growled Zoro and with a pointed look in Nami’s direction, “And I don’t have a crush on her.”

“Guys, this is serious. As we all know, Zoro is a complete dumbass, especially when it comes to something like this. He’ll need our help.” Nami carried on acting as if Zoro hadn’t even spoken.

“Indeed.” Robin shared a knowing look with Nami.

“I’m literally sitting right here.” A vein pulsated on Zoro’s forehead.

“Just today, Tashigi was being hit on by another man.” Nami dramatically moved her hand to her chest, “Zoro could only stand there and watch like the imbecile he is. It was pathetic.”

Now she was really pushing it, Zoro was going to snap any second.

“He’ll be a tough competitor to beat too. He’s quite the catch.”

“What? That prick?” Zoro knew he shouldn’t engage, but the guy didn’t seem all that impressive to him.

“You’ve never even met him; how do you even know what he is like?”

“I can tell just by looking, he’s definitely an asshole.”

“A lot of the girls at the office are interested in him, you know.” Nami leaned forward, “He’s handsome and rich.”

Zoro grimaced, “Tashigi isn’t impressed by shit like that.”

“He’s really smart, went to one of the country’s top colleges known for their journalism program. He has also won several accolades for his investigative journalism.” Nami continued on with a downright evil smile aimed at Zoro.

Zoro stopped eating, _now that might be a problem_. Tashigi wasn’t the kind of person to be impressed by status and riches but someone skilled in their field, now that could get her attention and admiration. _What the fuck, this guy is already rich and he’s smart too?_ He refused to even acknowledge his looks.

“Looks like you got some serious competition, Zoro.” Snickered Ussop, but one death glare from Zoro shut him right up.

“Zoro, you should confess right away. You never know when one of you could suddenly die.” Robin added.

“Robin, please! I’ve asked you not to say disturbing things when I’m trying to enjoy my food.” Ussop complained with a shudder.

“So, you’re saying that he doesn’t even have a chance, Nami?” Chopper shot Zoro a sympathetic look, “Poor Zoro.”

“What the fuck!”

“No! He still has a chance, but only with our help.” Nami curled her hand into a fist and looked up the ceiling, “Only we can deliver this fool to love.”

“You’re doing this just because you know it pisses me off, aren’t you?”

“So Nami, what can we do?” Robin asked.

Zoro closed his eye. These were the people he chose to hang out with. All he wanted was to be left alone in this matter, but they had to butt in as usual. Nothing was sacred or private in this group. He just knew this was going to end in a mess because nothing ever went smoothly with one of their plans.

“Unfortunately, Tashigi is as dense as Zoro when it comes to these things.” Nami’s brow furrowed, “We need to get them into a setting where I can control their interaction. You know what that means.”

Luffy stood up, “PARTY!”

“Yes! We’ll throw one of our famous parties, and I will make sure Tashigi is there.”

“Awesome! Operation: _Idiots in Love_ is a go!” Franky high-fived Nami.

“Don’t worry Zoro, we will make sure you guys get married!” Luffy added.

“Wait, they are already getting married?” Chopper’s eyes widened.

“While that will be next on the agenda, first we need to just get them together. I don’t even want to imagine the headache it will be to get Zoro to propose properly.” Nami sighed.

_This day really couldn’t get any worse._

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Nami and Robin, you ladies look beautiful as always!”

_Never mind, it could._ The arrival of Sanji was just what he needed to make this mortifying lunch even worse.

“What did I miss?”

“Zoro is getting married!” Chopper clapped his hands together.

“What the-” Sanji started to promptly choke on his food they had already preordered for him.

“To sum it up: Zoro likes Tashigi but is too stupid to do anything about it. We are going to get them together.”

“I absolutely will not help tie down the beautiful, smart, and all around wonderful Tashigi to this disgusting man!” Sanji pointed at Zoro after regaining use of his lungs again.

Nami leveled a glare at Sanji and crossed her arms, “Yes, you will. You’ll do whatever I tell you to do.”

“Yes, Nami my gorgeous swan.” Sanji couldn’t refuse an order from Nami but the look he shot Zoro told him exactly what he thought about all of this.

“Do I get any say in this? Considering this is my fucking life.”

“No, you don’t, now shut up.” Nami turned her glare on Zoro.

Ussop burst out laughing, “This is going to be hilarious to watch.”

“Don’t worry, since Jinbei and Brook couldn’t be here, I let them know that Zoro is marrying Tashigi and we’re having a party!” Luffy glanced at his phone, “Oh wait, that’s the group chat with Traffy too.”

Zoro groaned and put his head in his hands.

_This is going downhill fast._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the characters seem sorta themselves at least lol. It's a little daunting writing all of them and I can't believe I took on Zoro's POV for my first fanfic but I wanted to set up that the Stawhats are gonna be involved with getting them together (well their gonna try, who know if they'll be successful. Certainly not I 😳).
> 
> The next chapter is from Tashigi's POV, here's a little preview:
> 
> Tashigi angrily stomped over and leaned up into his space on her tiptoes, “Well guess what Roronoa, you will see me there and will also have to interact with me too. Guess you’ll just have to deal with it.”
> 
> “Hey now, don’t threaten me with a good time.” He dipped towards her with a smug smile on his face.


	2. Your Game is Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tashigi gets invited to a party and Zoro annoys her at the dojo as usual. He also almost throws hands with a thirteen-year-old?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have some mutual pining and bickering

_Roronoa Zoro_. As if that man didn’t invade Tashigi’s thoughts enough, now he was showing up in the flesh multiple times a week. _Can’t I have a moment of peace?_

Tashigi put both hands on her face, she felt like her face was on fire. She had not been expecting Zoro to be right behind her and she was caught unaware earlier. She needed to get control of herself. Tashigi had recently realized that she liked Zoro and now every time she saw him, she had to fight down a blush.

Honestly, it was crazy that she even liked him, didn’t they always fight? When exactly did she start to enjoy his company? He really was annoying, always showing off how much better he was with swords and teasing her mercilessly. But, at Punk Hazard, she had seen a different side of him and was hit with a disconcerting realization.

Tashigi remembered being knocked off her feet from an explosion and the next minute she was being carried through the burning facility. At first, she almost thought he was some sort of hallucination her mind dreamed up to distract her from burning to death or from too much smoke inhalation. But if this was a daydream, Tashigi would have preferred to be princess carried out, not thrown over her rescuer’s shoulder.

She must have said something to that effect because Zoro had retorted with: _“Semi unconscious fools don’t get to complain when the building is on fire and crumbling down.”_

He quickly made his way out of the facility and she couldn’t help but be impressed. Zoro carried her easily, didn’t act as if he was bogged down by his heavy gear or her added extra weight despite the nearly unbearable heat. He easily leapt over fallen debris or lifted it up one handed to toss it out of the way.

Tashigi will never forget the look he gave her when they had made it out of the building. Zoro had gently set her down and gave her the most blindingly sweet smile she had ever seen on his face. She was completely awestruck, always use to his usual grumpy expression or a condescending smirk. Her heart fluttered rapidly, and it wasn’t all from the adrenaline of the dangerous situation.

_“You really had me worried there for second, Tashigi.”_

Tashigi couldn’t even utter a word before a medic had rushed over and the next thing she knew Zoro was running back into the building. It struck her how amazing he really was, this man who just runs into burning buildings and saves lives like it was nothing. He was strong and confident, and sometimes even funny.

Zoro ended up pulling out four more kids, two under each arm as he exited the building. The children were clinging to him as he tried to hand them off to waiting medic staff. With the flames backlighting him, he looked every inch the hero. _He saved how many lives tonight? And what did I accomplish?_ _Nothing but nearly dying at multiple times, he must think I’m even more pathetic than originally thought._

Tashigi swore she would keep her feelings locked down; she couldn’t have anyone finding out about this crush. There was no way she would even have a chance with someone like Zoro anyway. He liked to tease her, but he couldn’t enjoy their constant arguing. What kind of relationship would that even be? Zoro really knew how to push her buttons unlike anyone else. She decided it would be best to just continue on with their normal interactions (bickering) and not even contemplate anything beyond that.

“Tashigi!”

Tashigi jumped, “Ye-yes?”

“Are you eating lunch at your desk? You should have come to lunch with me and my friends!” Nami was standing next to Tashigi’s desk, unwrapping her scarf from her neck, “You know, we are really fun to hang out with.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that, Nami.” The Strawhats had quite the reputation around the city. And what they called fun, Tashigi would call complete pandemonium.

“I mean, you know all of us, and you hang out with Zoro all the time on the weekend, don’t you?”

“Uh, no, well I mean we see each other at the dojo we go to and sometimes spar, but it’s not like a uh, prearranged thing.”

“Mm hmm. Next lunch date you are definitely coming,” Nami turned to go but stopped and turned around, putting her hand on her chin with a sly smile on her face, “Actually, we are having a party this weekend, you should come!”

“I’m not really a party person…”

“I swear you will enjoy yourself.” Nami sent her a wink, “Our parties are kinda legendary you know.”

Tashigi knew all about their parties, Nami was right about one thing—they were legendary. They were loud, crazy, and chaotic. Back when Smoker was a cop, he had a lot of run ins with the Strawhats and he still to this day complains about them, especially Luffy.

“Zoro will be there.”

“Uh...” Tashigi didn’t know how to respond to that.

“He’s usually sitting in a corner like some loner, I mean, like the cool guy he is so you don’t have to worry about having no one to hang out with. I know, that these things can be intimidating but I will make sure you are not alone!”

Tashigi doubted that Nami ever felt intimidated or uncomfortable at a party.

“Really, I have work stuff to do so I just won’t be able to go. The deadline for this new piece is on Monday.”

Nami muttered something under her breath that sounded like, “Stubborn just like him.”

She leaned over Tashigi’s desk with a scary smile, “You will come, and I will personally ensure you have a good time. Also text me some photos of your party clothes, I’ll help you pick out your outfit!”

_Party clothes? I don’t have any party clothes._

.

.

.

Tashigi was dreading the party. She was an awkward person in situations that involved a bunch of people with loud music. She preferred a quiet night in; usually her nights revolved around her by herself either researching for work or watching Netflix alone. _Maybe this will be a good thing for me, I really am like a boring old person._

Besides, Nami would not take no for an answer and she didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Nami’s wrath so she decided she’d just drop by and make an appearance and then leave as quickly as she could. To work out some of her anxiety before the party she was going extra hard in the dojo this morning.

“Damn, what’s got you so worked up, Glasses?”

Tashigi let out a yelp and whirled around, _Shigure_ nearly slipping out of her grasp. There he was again, sneaking up behind her. And wow, did he look good as usual. Zoro was wearing his usual black joggers and a white sleeveless shirt which showed off his biceps.

“So, I hear you’re going to our party tonight.” Zoro put his hands in the pockets of his pants and glanced away from her.

“Yeah, Nami pretty much forced me.”

Zoro let out a laugh, “That’s Nami for you.”

“Did she pick out your outfit for you too?”

“She did give me specific rules.” He pitched his voice to mimic Nami, “’Zoro, if you wear any goddamn activewear to my party I’ll kill you. I’m sick of seeing you in fucking joggers.’”

“Well she didn’t get quite so aggressive with me, but she did let me know that I don’t have any clothes suited for a party.” Tashigi laughed. “She really did highlight the fact for me that I only have professional clothes and lounge clothes, nothing else in between.”

“Lounge clothes?”

“Yeah, like leggings and hoodies, causal stuff.”

“Pretty pretentious sounding, you women are always making up fancy names for shit.”

“Shut up, Roronoa.” Tashigi muttered “so annoying” under her breath as well. He was one to talk when he mostly wore that type of stuff all the time.

Zoro rolled his eye and set his bag down. Tashigi turned back to her routine but after a few minutes he spoke up again, “You know you don’t have to go to the party if you don’t really want to.”

Tashigi narrowed her eyes, “Are you saying you don’t want me there?”

“What? Why do you always take everything I say negatively?”

“Maybe because you are always being rude, Roronoa!”

“You are impossible to deal with.” Zoro grumbled.

“I’m impossible to deal with? Have you met yourself?” Tashigi’s voice raised a couple octaves.

“Damn, you two again? Do you guys ever shut up and stop flirting?” They both turned to the sound of the voice—a young boy that Tashigi has seen a lot at the dojo.

“Watch the attitude, kid. What are you like seven?”

“Thirteen actually, dumbass.”

“Shut the hell up.” Zoro gritted his teeth.

“Zoro! You can’t talk to a kid like that!”

“What’s he going to do, kick my ass?”

“One day I will, you’ll be old. Maybe I’ll even steal your girl too. Your game is weak.” The boy gave Tashigi a look over and sent her a smirk that she did not like.

“Alright, you little punk ass-” Zoro made a move toward the boy but Tashigi put her hand on his chest to stop him.

“Will you stop before you get me banned from here along with you all because you’re about to throw hands with a thirteen-year-old!” Tashigi snapped but was having a hard time focusing because her hand had slipped down to Zoro’s abs as he tried to maneuver around her. _Damn, rock solid._

“Fine, I’ll settle this later.” He shot one last threatening look towards the boy before he turned around. The boy flipped Zoro off but Tashigi was not going to say anything and start the stupidity back up.

“Dear god, you are a grown ass man will you act like one.”

“Huh, I didn’t hear you. Did you say something about my ass?” Zoro replied with a smirk that was both irritating and titillating for her.

“Ugh!” Tashigi threw her hands up and begin to gather up her stuff, pulling her coat on. _I’m not going to be able to concentrate anymore; I might as well leave._

“Seriously though, you don’t have to come tonight. Actually, it would be better if you didn’t.”

_Wow, he really doesn’t want me there does he? He likes to ruin my day, well I’m gonna ruin his night._

Tashigi angrily stomped over and leaned up into his space on her tiptoes, “Well guess what Roronoa, you will see me there and will also have to interact with me too. Guess you’ll just have to deal with it.”

“Hey now, don’t threaten me with a good time.” He dipped towards her with a smug smile on his face, “Not really fun unless there’s some nerd to make fun of. And a sword nerd like you will do just fine.”

His words were not nice but that husky tone really did something to Tashigi. She both hated and loved it. Her traitorous brain was ignoring the first part of his words and had zeroed in on _“you will do just fine”_ as it reverberated around her skull at lightning speed.

With Zoro’s face just inches from hers, Tashigi knew her own face was turning red. She needed to make her escape before she made a complete fool out of herself like grabbing him and closing the distance between their lips. She spun on her heel with a huff and made a beeline for the exit.

“Now that I think about it, did Nami pick out your outfit or lend you one?” Zoro called after her, making Tashigi glance over her shoulder, “Because I can’t wait to see it if it’s the latter.”

He then shot her a wink because he knew damn well that Nami dressed in some rather revealing, sexy outfits that Tashigi would never step outside her house in.

_Infuriating man!_ Tashigi let out a screech as she left the room, “You look stupid winking since you only have one eye!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but a kid saying to Zoro "your game is weak" is peak humor to me.  
> The party was actually going to happen in this chapter but Zoro showed up and the dojo scene just sorta wrote itself. I'm really excited to share the next chapter with you guys—ZoTash, Strawhat shenanigans, some minor appearances of other characters...
> 
> Preview for next chapter:
> 
> “I think I know when someone is hitting on me, Roronoa.”
> 
> Zoro studied her, “Are you sure about that?”


	3. Up in Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tashigi goes to the Straw Hats' party and it's...explosive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say is *Ben Wyatt meme* It's about the chaos

The Straw Hats had the most random assortment of people at their party. The mash up of people was a little mind boggling—young, old, from all different walks of life. But the Straw Hats themselves were all very different from each other so it shouldn’t be too surprising that their partygoers reflected the variety of the group as well. What Tashigi couldn’t comprehend is that she was sure some of these people hated them, yet there they were at the Straw Hats’ party. Was that the weird con man turned cult leader Buggy? She was pretty sure that he and the Straw Hats had an altercation back in the day.

“Tashigi! My guest of honor!” Nami bounded over and caught Tashigi in a hug. She was wearing a tight, red bodycon dress which showed off her curves. She looked amazing as always and Tashigi wished she could have the confidence to wear something like that.

“Why am I the guest of honor?”

Nami looked taken aback at first by the question but easily recovered, “Cause it was just so hard to get you to come. It’s literally easier to get people who want to kill us to show up to our party than convince you.” She motioned with her head to the right and Tashigi did a double take when she saw the crime boss, Crocodile, at a table playing cards.

“Um, can you explain that?”

“He said he is only here because he’s waiting to see the destruction we will cause this place.”

“Wait, I was going to ask, whose place is this?” Tashigi had been surprised when she arrived at the address. It was a huge, luxury home and Tashigi couldn’t even guess who owned it or how the Straw Hats were able to have their party here. The opulent mansion sat atop a huge hill overlooking the city. It was a little out of the way, but the view was quite spectacular.

“Oh, that’s a long story, but this is some newly built real estate that had some drawn out bidding war over it. I guess whoever won beat Crocodile out and he’s still pissed about it.”

“Then we can’t be here if we don’t have permission!”

“Calm down Miss Punk Hazard, the new owner hasn’t _officially_ signed the papers yet, so they don’t even own it.”

“Well someone does! And I did what I did at Punk Hazard because I was trying to save a bunch of kids!” Tashigi exclaimed. The raw nerve the Straw Hats all had to throw a party at some mansion they didn’t own was impressive but still gave Tashigi major anxiety over the repercussions.

“Let’s get you a drink!” Nami ignored her protests and led her over to the bar. Robin, Franky, and Brook were all gathered around the white marble bar top and Sanji stood behind it making drinks.

“Lovely Tashigi, welcome! What special drink can I make you?”

Tashigi glanced around and saw a woman with a red, fruity cocktail, “I’ll have that.”

“No problem, something sweet for a sweetie.” Sanji with his usual flair whipped up a drink for her, finishing it off with some cherries and pineapples on a toothpick.

“Tashigi, we’re so glad you could make it. You look nice.” Robin smiled at her. Robin had on a purple crop top with a matching fringed mini skirt, completed with a white cowboy hat and boots. On anyone else it would look absolutely ridiculous but on her it looked really good somehow.

“Oh, thank you.” Tashigi knew she didn’t draw attention to herself like with the outfits Robin and Nami wore, but she felt comfortable in her outfit (and dare she say it, even a little sexy). She wore her black high rise skinny jeans with a tucked in sleeveless mock neck black tank top that had a slight shimmer to the fabric. She liked the mock neck cause it felt sleek and exposed her toned arms.

“You know the whole look does look better on; the photos didn’t do the clothes justice and your ankle boots are so cute. You look like a sexy spy! But I would love to take you shopping with me and Robin one day!”

“Yeah, got the guns on display, are you sure you can’t beat up Zoro?” Franky laughed good-naturedly and pointed to her biceps.

“Speaking of Zoro, he is right over there. You should go over and say hi, shouldn’t she do that, guys?” Nami put a manicured hand on her arm and turned her towards a couch where Zoro was sitting near the back of the room.

“Yes, if she wants to ruin her evening with a boorish man with terrible conversational skills.” Sanji muttered.

“What was that, Sanji?” Nami hissed at him and seemed to be silently communicating with him.

“You should… definitely go say hi, Tashigi. Zoro… is just such a… gr-great guy. I’m sure you’ll have a… nice time.” Sanji struggled to finish his sentence and had a pained expression on his face.

“Are you ok?” Tashigi asked.

“He’s fine, go now, I have some other people I have to say hi to, but I’ll find you again soon.” Nami practically pushed her toward the area Zoro was sitting in.

Tashigi nearly stopped dead in the middle of the room when she got a good glance of what Zoro was wearing. He had thrown on a short-sleeved button up, but it was completely unbuttoned and hanging wide open. She could see the huge scar that cut across his body from shoulder to hip, disappearing under his jeans. _How far down does it go? And why did he even bother wearing a shirt?_

It wasn’t that this was the first time she had seen him shirtless (or nearly shirtless in this case) but it was too much of a rare sight if you asked Tashigi. Usually at the dojo he wore a clinging, sleeveless tank but she’d seen him rip it off a few times when he was leaving and would apparently run home. Tashigi was always a sweaty mess and wanted to immediately go home and collapse after sparring, but apparently for Zoro it was just a warmup. And damn, his workouts had really paid off.

“Roronoa.” Tashigi greeted him and thanked the universe for allowing her to walk across the room with only a small stumble. It was a small victory because her body was on complete autopilot while her mind was on Zoro’s abs.

“Glasses.” He acknowledged and glanced at the drink in her hand, “Nice little fruity drink you got there.”

“Shut up, you know this tastes better than anything you’re drinking.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“You’re just afraid you won’t look manly drinking a fruity cocktail or you would be right now.”

Zoro raised one eyebrow to her challenge, he handed her his bottle (seriously, he had a whole bottle, not a glass) and grabbed her drink, “I’m _very secure_ in my masculinity.” Not breaking eye contact as he took a swig of the drink.

Zoro grabbed the fruit on the stick and tilted his head back, biting the cherry and pulling it off. For some reason, Tashigi felt a little hot. _This shouldn’t be erotic right?_

“Y-You know I want those, s-stop stealing my fruit and my drink.” She leaned over and tried to grab her drink but Zoro pulled back from her reach.

“No way, you’re right. It’s so good I can’t give it back.” He gave her a teasing smile.

“Well, imagine finding you two together. Never would have guessed.” A shadow was cast over them and they turned to the voice it belonged to—a smirking Trafalgar Law.

Zoro scowled at Law. They seemed to be having a silent battle with each other.

“Uh, how’s the hospital?” Tashigi decided to interrupt them.

“Finally rebuilding our reputation thanks to the bad publicity your article brought.”

Tashigi cringed; last year she wrote a pretty damning article on some shady stuff going on thanks to the CEO, Doflamingo. Tashigi didn’t know this at the time, but Law had teamed up with the Straw Hats and they were working together to get rid of Doflamingo. Apparently, Law had wanted to keep it under the radar, but the article brought all the illegal activities to light.

“That was all Joker. Tashigi was just doing her job, plus it put the public on your side. You should be thanking her actually.” Zoro coolly replied.

Tashigi was shocked by Zoro’s response. _Did he just defend me?_

“Law, what are you doing over here? Don’t you know Luffy would love to see you.” Nami was smiling but her eyes looked murderous as she popped up out of nowhere from behind Law.

“Per the group chat, I was just about to congratulate them on their wed-”

“LUFFY! LAW IS HERE!” Nami screamed over his words.

“TRAFFY!” Could be heard from another room somewhere in the house.

“Might as well get this torture over with.” Law looked resigned to his fate as Nami led him away.

Tashigi was still reeling from Zoro’s earlier defense of her and nearly missed his question.

“So, what are you working on now? It would be nice to have a heads up for when I need to save your ass again.”

“You are so funny.” Tashigi puffed out her cheeks and made a face at him. “I’ve nearly finished up my most recent piece that’s due on Monday, and for the next one I’m going to be working with one of my colleagues.”

Zoro whipped his head around, “Who? Which one?”

“Uh, well I don’t think you know him. He recently arrived and he’s working on a contractual basis because everyone wants him, so he won’t sign on with just one news organization.”

“Is he that guy you were talking to on Tuesday?”

“On Tuesday? Oh, yeah that was him. I’m surprised you remembered actually.”

“He seemed _pretty friendly_.” Zoro seemed to emphasize the words.

“What are you even trying to say?”

“He was flirting with you.” Zoro stated in an apathetic voice but his body language was tense.

Tashigi burst out laughing, “As flattering as that would be, I don’t think so.”

“Yes, he was.” Zoro crossed his arms and seemed grumpy but for reasons Tashigi couldn’t even begin to understand why.

“Is this you trying to mess with me? Because it’s not amusing.”

“He was getting pretty handsy from my view.” Zoro mumbled.

Tashigi thought about it— _Was he? I mean maybe he put his hand on my shoulder, but after I saw Zoro I didn’t even register anything else._

“I think I know when someone is hitting on me, Roronoa.”

Zoro studied her, “Are you sure about that?”

The way he said it made her pause, his tone was serious, not the usual teasing way he would speak to her. There was some implication there, and-

“Hey Zoro, nice drink!” Ussop called, motioning to Zoro’s hand which was still holding her drink.

“Idiot!” Again, out of nowhere Nami popped up and started to drag Ussop away, after smacking the back of his head.

The commotion caught Sanji’s attention and he yelled, “That’s Tashigi’s drink, you asshole!”

Zoro, of course, had to get his dig in to Sanji so he promptly tilted her drink back and downed the whole thing while flipping off Sanji.

“All of you are useless, incompetent fools! Sanji get back to making drinks and stop disrupting the mission!” Nami shouted with her arm around Ussop’s neck as she continued to drag him out of the room.

“The mission?” Tashigi looked back to Zoro.

“Uh, her plan for the perfect party.” Zoro rubbed the back of his neck and looked like he had a slight flush to his face. _Weird._

“Huh, I guess Nami is going all out for your guys’ party.”

Zoro grabbed his bottle back and stood up, “Let’s get out of here.”

Tashigi’s eyes widened.

“I mean outside, let’s go outside.” He gestured to the glass doors behind them.

The doors led to a spacious veranda that overlooked the lawn. Spiraling shrubs lined the property, and classical statues were placed throughout the walkways. Water bubbled from an impressive fountain which sat in the middle of the yard. Everything about this place was regal, it looked like something out of a Jane Austen movie.

“This place is really nice; it must cost a fortune.”

“Yeah,” Zoro huffed in annoyance and leaned on the railing, “This place is repulsive. It’s only made to show off. That marble shit all over? Feels more like a museum than a house.”

Tashigi had to agree with his assessment. While the outside was pretty, inside it did not feel like a comfy home. It looked nice, but it lacked a certain kind of warmth.

“There’s an elevator in this mansion. They can’t walk their ass down a flight of stairs. Rich people are fucking annoying.”

Tashigi couldn’t help it, she laughed.

Zoro had a grin on his face and offered her his bottle, “Want some?”

“Uh, sure.” Tashigi was not going to let her mind run away with the implications of this, because there wasn’t any! It was merely two people sharing a drink. She was going to play it cool and definitely not going to go into high school girl mode and think _indirect kiss_ because Tashigi was a well-adjusted, mature adult. She, of course, ruined her nonchalant vibe with a grimace on her face and coughing after taking a drink. _God, that was just straight up alcohol._

“I knew that was coming.” Zoro bumped his shoulder into hers. He had an amused smile on his face while he looked out over the property and Tashigi thought he looked especially handsome in that moment.

It was beginning to grow chillier with the turn of the season as fall releases its hold to winter but Tashigi didn’t even notice. With Zoro standing this close, she could feel the warmth radiating off him. He didn’t seem bothered either, even with his shirt open like that.

Tashigi noticed three figures walking from the side of the house that were heading towards the fountain, “Hey look it’s Luffy, Ussop, and Chopper.”

“They’ve got fireworks. I’m sure this will go well.” He muttered sarcastically.

“Talking from previous experience?”

“This summer we had an… incident with fireworks. But they’re probably not dumb enough to do it again.”

As if on cue, the trio started yelling and the next thing Tashigi knew, she was tackled to the ground as a blazing object whizzed overhead. It shattered the glass doors behind her, raining shards all over the veranda.

Zoro was on top of her and had turned her face away from the house, protecting her head with his hands. For just a moment, there was total silence, he lifted his hands away from her and she turned to face him. Time seemed suspended in that moment, both of them looking at each other—and then suddenly—one side of his face was lit up by a red glow from inside the house and that’s when the screaming started.

“What the fuck was that?!” Tashigi could hear Nami shrieking as chaos erupted.

“I’ll save you Nami, dear!” Sanji shouted from inside.

Zoro helped Tashigi up, “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, but—oh my god! Fire!” Tashigi grabbed onto his arm and with the other she pointed to the flames just beyond the destroyed glass doors.

“Those idiots really did it a second time, huh.”

“Zoro, do something!” Tashigi yelled.

“What do you want me to do?”

“You’re a firefighter!” Tashigi frantically gestured to the flames, “fight the fire!”

“Do I look like I have any of my gear or a fire truck? Let me just start punching the flames I guess.” Zoro’s blasé tone left Tashigi flabbergasted.

He put his hands on his hips eyeing the flames, “It’s small, it’ll be fine. Just keep it contained—”

As he said that, the flames grew exponentially with a loud pop (and with more screaming from inside). Tashigi shot him a stony look.

“Moss-head there’s a fucking fire if you haven’t seen it with your one damn eye.” Sanji appeared carrying Nami in his arms with the others behind them.

“So take care of it, Zoro!” Nami snapped and pointed to the fire as Sanji set her down.

“What exactly do all of you expect me to do in my current state?”

“This man is a firefighter?” Sanji scoffed, lighting a cigarette.

“Doesn’t seem to be too good at it.” Brook agreed.

“Yeah, considering Luffy is one as well and they are both on the same squad it’s surprising the city is still standing.” Franky added.

“It appears we are all one good fire away from going up in flames at any time. How exciting.” Robin chimed in with a creepy smile.

“If you all think you can do better, go right ahead!” Zoro yelled furiously.

“Calm down Zoro, but seriously what woman wants an incompetent man that can’t even accomplish the job he’s literally paid to do?” Nami shot him an unimpressed look.

Sanji was buckled over wheezing with laughter and Tashigi could see the pulsing vein on Zoro’s forehead as his friends continued to deride him. As absurd and dangerous as the situation was right now, the interactions between the Straw Hats never failed to put a smile on her face. They were just _so funny_. Plus, it was always nice to see Zoro flustered since it was something she rarely saw. Tashigi always felt like an embarrassingly uncool person next to him.

By this point, fellow partygoers were fleeing through the doors. The guilty trio had also made their way up onto the veranda.

“Nami, we had a little accident…” Luffy shuffled his feet and looked towards the ground.

“I told you three that you were banned from fireworks unless a responsible adult is present!” Nami screeched.

“Well—in our defense—Zoro was right there. Tashigi too.” Ussop shrugged with a sheepish expression on his face.

“ _Do. Not. Even. Try. It.”_ Zoro snarled in a scary voice and Ussop whispered something about “demon aura” and ducked behind Luffy. “And you, Luffy, us firefighters are supposed to put out the flames, not start them. Get your ass in there and make sure everyone is out since this shit is your fault!”

“Damn Straw Hats! Always destroying everything in the vicinity. I knew I shouldn’t have come but I wanted some free booze!” Buggy scrambled past them; his arms overloaded with clinking bottles.

“Hey! Bring those back here!” Zoro grabbed Buggy by the back of the shirt as he passed by and hauled him to the side.

“Roronoa, I don’t think confiscating bottles of alcohol from Buggy is the priority here!”

“Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, douche.” At that exact moment, police sirens started up. If there was panic before, that exploded the scene into complete bedlam. Partygoers were running in all directions, looking to make a quick escape.

“Shit, I’m on parole and I’m not going back to prison!” Buggy tugged out of Zoro’s grip and was out of sight in seconds.

“That dumbass clown is right; we need to get out of here before we all have another arrest on our records!” Nami glanced towards the sounds of the sirens getting closer.

“Take Tashigi with you guys, I’m gonna find Luffy and make sure the house is clear.”

“No way, I’ll help.”

“Woman, what the hell is wrong with you?! You really want me to carry your ass out of a burning building for a second time?” Zoro growled.

Their argument was interrupted by a gravelly, malicious sounding laugh, “You fools never disappoint, do you? The havoc you wreak is impressive as always.”

Crocodile was a little way inside the mansion still, he pulled a cigar out of his coat pocket and lit it on the surrounding flames. Unbothered was the only way to describe his countenance as he took a drag on his cigar. The fire licked at Crocodile’s heels as he swaggered his way out and it looked like a damn runway show from hell itself.

“Give my regards to Straw Hat.” With one last wicked laugh, Crocodile slinked off into the shadows, his dark fur coat billowing behind him.

“He’s a total bastard, but I have to admit that he really does have style. Crocodile works the whole evil villain aesthetic like no one else.” Nami put her palms up in an appreciative shrug.

“I really need to get a coat just like that, it would look spectacular on stage.” Brook mused.

“Oh, for sure! And those rings? Kinda hot, not gonna lie.”

Tashigi was a little dumbfounded, they were just chatting about clothing and accessories while a fire blazed in the background and they stood trespassing on private property with police sirens blaring in the night. But then again, this probably was just a typical Saturday night for the Straw Hats.

“Hey guys, I’m back! The house is clear and look who I have!” Luffy pulled an irritated looking Law along with him.

“For the record, I was leaving through the front door and he dragged me back across the house towards the fire. Is this your usual firefighter protocol?” Law hissed pulling at Luffy’s arms around his neck.

“Ok, we really do need to get out of here, because what I didn’t mention to you Tashigi is that the person who is buying this property is…Akainu.” Nami finished with a cringe.

“WHAT? You mean the chief of police—that Akainu?!” Tashigi squawked.

“Listen, this was just supposed to be like a little fuck you to him, cause you know he hates us and tried to like straight up murder Ace and Luffy.”

Tashigi was speechless. If there was one person in the city that Smoker had especially told her to stay away from it was Akainu. He was absolutely ruthless in his pursuit of Absolute Justice. She would love to investigate him and show him what real justice is, but she knew how dangerous it would be—one wrong move and she would wind up dead from an “accident”.

Brook broke the silence, “You know a meme that works really well in this situation? That *chuckles* I’m in danger one.”

By now the sirens were at the front of the house, everyone looked at each other.

“Every man and woman for themselves!” Ussop screamed and took off running.

Zoro grabbed Tashigi’s hand, “Time to haul ass, Glasses!”

.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm a Crocodile apologist. Yes, we exist. 
> 
> Disclosure: I watched OP years ago when I was kid (well young teen) and I rediscovered it during quarantine and started back at the beginning in June and I just finished the Punk Hazard arc (ugh the zotash scenes were so good). Law became an instant fav from that arc so I want to include him in the Straw Hat shenanigans as well.
> 
> Feel free to tell me what you liked 😊


End file.
